Why relationships are hard?

Why are relationships hard? Why do i hate getting to know new guys if a relationship is the main interest? Why do i feel like its my fault sometimes? The first kiss who should initiate it? How many dates before you wanna make it official? Relationships are hard because we as people make them hard. Forcing ourselfs to date people who we really don't have an interest in or just plain arguing about dumb shit..


why i hate gettin to kno new guys when gettin in a relationship is the main focus. Well in my experience its easier to date someone who you start out bein friends with because its not awkward when you first go on a date, or when you talk more than you nomally did its jus like adding the intimate part to the friendship making it easier in my opinion.


Sometimes i feel like relationships dont work out because of me and my girly emotions. And the reason i say that is because sometimes i care too much that it will scare the guy off and sometimes i dont care enough and that makes them think i dont wanna talk to them cuz if i talk to them im okay and if i dont im okay too it doesnt really phase me none. The key to making it work is pretty much finding a common ground. Care enough so they can tell and its not jus lyk "i dont really give a fuck"..

The first kiss: is not a very difficult subject but in my opinion whoever can initiate the first kiss. Doesnt matter if its a man and a woman, man and a man or woman and woman. I personally would like the man or boy initiate the first kiss. I dont like going first. And i dont like talkin about it either. If you wanna kiss me just do it. Unless im lookin at you like "nigga please" then i might just like you. I think its cuter when im suprised.


There is no specific date to make it official its just when you feel it. I could be "talkin" to a dude for a few weeks or months only go on 1 date with them then decide i wanna make it official its all about the people in it and how they feel.

I dont like to rush into relationships with people because its a recipe for disaster.

Im tired of being single but then I'm scared of gettin into another relationship that could possibly fail.

I use this blog as a way to express myself when I have no one to talk to.. I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading

Diary

Dear diary,

Today has not been the best day. I found out that i need a new prom date because i was gonna take Al but he's 21 and the paper said they cnt be over the age of 20 so now i dont have a date and dont kno who im goin wit nomore. So much stress has come from Prom shit its annoying. I just want it to all be situated. Then to top off the bad news about that my sister charnay and me got into it over some dumb shit. Im so tired of arguin wit her i just want her to move out or im gonna have to. I can't live in a house with someone who one minute wants to hangout wit me and be coo and the next minute actin extra dumb toward me tryna cuss me out and shit I'm not gone take that shit. So momma got in it and the next thing you know its a big arguement going on and now momma tryna act lyk she mad at me cause when I went outside I walked past her and her friend and I heard her say "you see what I mean" and I was like "bye" nd then she goes "um hello" nd I'm like "I said bye" then she said "dnt call me to come get you either" nd I said "I won't". How is she mad about me arguin with my sister? When it had nothin to do with her? Does that even make sense? No.. I don't even care if she's mad I jus know I'm not gone just sit around nd hear her talkin about me when she on the phone like come on thats childish and your supposed to be the parent. I'm just gone spend the rest of the day in my room and not speak to none of them. I dont even care nomore