To my Babe<3

These feelings that I feel seem to be getting stronger

So strong I don't kno if I can hold them any longer

My heart aches with the thought of no more us

With a hug and a kiss I give you my trust

I let down my brick wall to let you in

and with the way I've been hurt in the past
I'm not sure if i should again

But the way I light up when you call

Just shows me that you'll be there to pick me up if I fall

I haven't shared with you all the feelings of my past

Because I have fear that if I do this relationship won't last

A kiss from you is like a sign from up above

A sign that I should stop being scared and just give you all my love

But I can't

Not yet

Because I need you to see that I'm not like every other girl you've known

I need you to see that I'm worth waiting for

And with waiting it just shows how fast your feelings for me will have grown

Don't worry because I promise no matter where you are

no matter how far

I'll be there

To show you the way when your lost

To help take care of you no matter how much it costs

I got your back

Just like you got mine

And I'm not sayin right now

But later on in life I promise to love you

in and out

in and out

in and out of time!

- Chauntill aka Tilly Babii

Halloween/Homecoming Dance!

Okay so last Saturday was Halloween and it was also the Homecoming dance for my school! I went with my Booski Harry nd here are some goofy lookin and some cute pictures of us that my momma took before we left!





he needs some practice in the smiling department lol but you guys kno boys gotta look all thuggish in pictures lol either that or serious but yea there they are!

Bitches Be Trippin

Wow okay so for along time I've been kinda trippin cuz I've been single for 11 months right?? So I finally start talkin to this guy and we're gettin kinda serious(not love serious but I think he's gonna be my new boyfriend serious).

So in this time of being single I've always had my friends to talk to about any and everything and to fill the void of nothing being in a relationship. So I finally start to get in one and pretty much all my friends(the super close ones atleast) I haven't talked to them in along time.

It feels like I needed them all that time I was single, and I still need them now and its like they're not even there for me anymore.

I finally get what I wanted (a boyfriend or a guy with boyfriend material)(we're not official yet). But yea I get what I wanted but feel like I'm slowly losing my friends.

I don't wanna be one of those girls who doesn't have any friends just has her boyfriend, cuz once her and the guy break up she's alone. I wanna have my friends and boyfriend.

I know how to balance the 2 I just wish I knew why my friends were giving off these vibes and stopped reaching out??

I can never have it all its pure bullshit if you ask me!!

I'm not one of those girls who just quit talkin to they friends because a new guy is in my life I'm not that way at all nd I won't become that way either cuz I think its dumb.

I mean its whatever if females wanna start actin like they can't be my friend cuz I got a a dude. Whatever I don't even care nomore.

I'm happy tho. I finally have a boy in my life that wants to spend time gettin to kno me and jus hangin out!!
I finally saved the money to get my phone!! Yay G1 I'm comin soon to get you babii<3 lol
Nd I might have a job coming soon so my life jus keeps gettin better! Micah's finally movin back! Me nd Natalie are gettin closer again, things are gettin easier nd I'll be the happiest person if I could top it off with a job nd some money!
I went to Homecoming on Halloween so I'll post pictures in the next blog! But for now ima go eat! See ya

Tilly Babii<3

My First Date<3

My First Date!
Wow so it might sound funny to have boyfriends nd still never go on your first date right? Well yes I'm no longer a date virgin lmao(meaning I finally went on my first date!) I'm still a sex virgin tho so don't confuse the 2 lol. I went on my very 1st date on October 24th, 2009 when I was 17! Lol

So I hadn't planned on doing anything yesterday just laying around, it was pretty much a lazy day until about 5 when Harry(finally telling you his name lol) called me nd told me that he had the money and we could go out either 2day or 2morro, so I said I jus wanted to stay home nd we'd just go out on Sunday. He said that was coo nd we hung up. So he called back lyk 5 minutes later and asked if I wanted to go to Fear Farm(the haunted house) I said yea then started gettin ready. He called back and plans changed cuz we couldn't get the $10 passes to get in so we were gonna go to gameworks instead. I agreed and finished gettin ready. So he came to pick me up. Nd I wasn't done yet I was washing my face lol so he was waiting in the living room when I went to put my stuff away nd he was wearing a white tee and blue jeans, he copied me cuz I was wearing a white tube top and dark blue jeans lol so my sister was lyk "did you guys plan on matching?" we said naw nd I was lyk " he copied me" lol so I was finally ready nd we were walking out the door and you kno parents have to say something before we leave so my mom was lyk "do you have your key?" I said yes she's lyk "your id?" I said yes nd then she said "okay well your curfew is 1am" I said okay and we left.

In the car I met his sister and her boyfriend they were cool.
We went to gameworks and played games for lyk a hour and a half then we had to hurry and make it to the movies because it was about to start when we got there.

We went to see "The Stepfather". He bought me a large icee
:-D I love those lol nd some popcorn then we went to get some popcorn seasoning nd he spilled it on his pants lmao. We barely made it to the movies cuz when we got in the theatre it was comin on lol so we found out seats next to these people who were layin all over eachother takin up lyk 4 seats lol. We watched the movie nd I was gettin kinda mad cuz the bad guy was gettin away with everything nd nobody was catching on lol.


But yea when that was over we went back to gameworks and met back up with his sister and her boyfriend. They was about to leave to go get some food. So we went back in gameworks and played for lyk another hour and a half to 2 hours then we ran outta money lol and went outside to wait for them to come back. They came back and brought us some food we ate then went to the store and the guys went in and got beer for them and sprite for me! (Cuz I'm still a good girl!) then they took me home!

Fun night?!?! I'd have to say HELLS YEA! I had a really good time. Harry might even be next booski/boyfriend material you never kno! But not thinkin too far ahead of myself lol jus stating the fact that I'm actually starting to like him, like him like him not jus friend like him you kno? So um yea that was my first date. And it is a night to remember lol nd if I forget I'll always have this blog as a reminder lol.

--tilly babii <3

**UPDATE**

Baby don't worry, you are my only, you won't be lonely, even if the sky is fallin down, you'll be my only no need to worry baby are you down down down down down?? -never heard anything of this nature from anybody I've ever dated. Wtf is up??
Jay Sean Ft Lil Wayne
cute song i like it



Went to a party the other night nd it wasn't all that but I guess you could say I had fun because of who I was at the party with(I'm not gonna give him a name just yet, if it goes further then it is now then I'll write about him nd tell you who he is nd all that). But yea so far he was cool nd he has magic fingers lol except for when he went for my "secret place" complete turn off. Thigh rubbing is one thing but tryin to grope me in a car with old people in it? Eww lol
-One thing that bothered me about the guy I went to the party with is he left me downstairs while he went nd smoked(mind you I was at a party full of his friends people I didn't kno at all) so that bothered me because I was jus sitting there lyk ugh when is he coming back? Then when he came back his eyes were turning red and he was acting kinda weird. He told me he didn't remember much about the party and I was lyk "is it because you were so high?" nd he was lyk "yea I was fucked up" that's not cute to me. So I told him that he can't smoke that when he brings me places with him because I can't feel safe with him if he's all high outta his mind you kno? So yea that's that.

*He asked me to homecoming and I said yes, not really worried about being in the market for a boyfriend-since I've been single for almost a whole year so if it happens it happens.

-*Now on to FRIENDS.
Idk if its jus me but it seems lyk everybody's wearing brick walls around their chests lyk bullet-proof vests? They let me in enough to ask me about their crazy life problems but keep me out enough so that I feel a arms length distance away. Maybe I being paranoid or maybe I'm not but EVERYONE is acting like I have the biggest mouth in the world when I barely talk to people, like I can't keep a secret when I have so many secrets I can't tell you how many secrets I have kept throughout all my failed friendships I still hold their secrets deep in my soul nd I'll take them to the grave and why? Because ima good friend and because I want people to treat me the same. So I don't see the reason why people act weird with me? I'm the bestfriend you could possibly have. Or atleast I think so.



How life is gonna be from now on..
Go to school jus the same as everyday.
Get out early like I do everyday.


Keep talking to my 2 "bestfriends" and my brother frm another mother.

**I don't give up easily on friendships but if I feel lyk you/they just keep tryn so hard to push me away then I'll jus do the rest for you cuz I don't wanna waste my time on someone who doesn't love me like I love them or just won't let me in.

Anyways back to "how lifes gonna be.."
If things work out lyk I want them to then hopefully be working soon! Yay

Apply for colleges and get that outta the way.

Learn to drive lol that's something I've been puttin off forever.

Nd start gettin more publicity for my t-shirt line!
I think that's about it for my "how life's gonna be segment lol"


But to the people who are my friends or associates who want to become actually "friends" one thing to kno about me is that (I'm pretty much a open book, I have no problem at all talkin about a lot of things so don't be afraid to randomly talk to me about things.

And another thing is I don't do 1 sided relationships if I feel lyk your not givin 50% like I am then that's when I through in a towel nd forget about the whole situation nd if you don't want that then you better work damn hard to keep reachin lol

And one last thing is I put up a brick wall in the beginning just like everybody else but once I'm comfortable I take it down so if you get the comfort vibe from me then don't keep holding yours up, its never an intention of mine to hurt people so once I'm comfortable then I wanna make sure that we can talk about anything nd that's within reason(if you have a touchy subject then that's fine nd I'll respect your wishes not to talk about it) I give all I can as a friend I just want some of it back.


I think that's about it.