Why relationships are hard?

Why are relationships hard? Why do i hate getting to know new guys if a relationship is the main interest? Why do i feel like its my fault sometimes? The first kiss who should initiate it? How many dates before you wanna make it official? Relationships are hard because we as people make them hard. Forcing ourselfs to date people who we really don't have an interest in or just plain arguing about dumb shit..


why i hate gettin to kno new guys when gettin in a relationship is the main focus. Well in my experience its easier to date someone who you start out bein friends with because its not awkward when you first go on a date, or when you talk more than you nomally did its jus like adding the intimate part to the friendship making it easier in my opinion.


Sometimes i feel like relationships dont work out because of me and my girly emotions. And the reason i say that is because sometimes i care too much that it will scare the guy off and sometimes i dont care enough and that makes them think i dont wanna talk to them cuz if i talk to them im okay and if i dont im okay too it doesnt really phase me none. The key to making it work is pretty much finding a common ground. Care enough so they can tell and its not jus lyk "i dont really give a fuck"..

The first kiss: is not a very difficult subject but in my opinion whoever can initiate the first kiss. Doesnt matter if its a man and a woman, man and a man or woman and woman. I personally would like the man or boy initiate the first kiss. I dont like going first. And i dont like talkin about it either. If you wanna kiss me just do it. Unless im lookin at you like "nigga please" then i might just like you. I think its cuter when im suprised.


There is no specific date to make it official its just when you feel it. I could be "talkin" to a dude for a few weeks or months only go on 1 date with them then decide i wanna make it official its all about the people in it and how they feel.

I dont like to rush into relationships with people because its a recipe for disaster.

Im tired of being single but then I'm scared of gettin into another relationship that could possibly fail.

I use this blog as a way to express myself when I have no one to talk to.. I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading

Diary

Dear diary,

Today has not been the best day. I found out that i need a new prom date because i was gonna take Al but he's 21 and the paper said they cnt be over the age of 20 so now i dont have a date and dont kno who im goin wit nomore. So much stress has come from Prom shit its annoying. I just want it to all be situated. Then to top off the bad news about that my sister charnay and me got into it over some dumb shit. Im so tired of arguin wit her i just want her to move out or im gonna have to. I can't live in a house with someone who one minute wants to hangout wit me and be coo and the next minute actin extra dumb toward me tryna cuss me out and shit I'm not gone take that shit. So momma got in it and the next thing you know its a big arguement going on and now momma tryna act lyk she mad at me cause when I went outside I walked past her and her friend and I heard her say "you see what I mean" and I was like "bye" nd then she goes "um hello" nd I'm like "I said bye" then she said "dnt call me to come get you either" nd I said "I won't". How is she mad about me arguin with my sister? When it had nothin to do with her? Does that even make sense? No.. I don't even care if she's mad I jus know I'm not gone just sit around nd hear her talkin about me when she on the phone like come on thats childish and your supposed to be the parent. I'm just gone spend the rest of the day in my room and not speak to none of them. I dont even care nomore

Urrrsher baby!! Lol

So things have been alil different in Ushers career since hes been married And divorced lol but i like his music and i might even go get his new album but heres a preview of a video that i like song is Daddys home

Everest!

For as long as i can remember I've had my career picked out. It was gonna be like this... be a celebrity like singer or rapper or actress or something but make sure to own a whole bunch of businesses. I've decided to make it to where i own the business first. I want to be the biggest entrepreneur ever. Own the most businesses or just really good ones. So I'm going to Everest College Phoenix for their business management / entrepreneurship program for 2 years to get my Associates degree.. gonna open up my own business after that! Sooo excited you dont even know! The only thing that has been stressing me in job searching because school definately isnt gonna pay for itself unless i get a bunch of grants and scholarships.. pray for me to find a job soon guys! :) but um yea ima go jump in the shower I'll post again soon maybe my new video on youtube??? Lol

Pics and shit

I got swagg I got swagg You dont believe me? bitch check ma swagg lol i came up with that on my own so dont jock it!!
























okay thats enough pics for now lol.

on to the videos.. so about 2 months ago I actually started putting my videos on youtube to see peoples reaction to my long tongue and now i got like 19 subscribers to my youtube channel and dudes send me messages tellin me how much they love my tongue lol some would think it was creepy but i atually dont mind the liking my tongue lol i like it too..

this first video was the first tongue video i put up and i got like over 1,000 views on it lol


this second video has about 947 views on it lol and i had to make it so people dont think i suck dick or anything like that cuz i dont


this 3rd video has 553 views and i was bored so thats why i made this video lol


On to the next chapter of Chauntill videos on youtube lol so the weekend before last my best brother from another mother was stayin over my house nd we was supposed to be cleaning but we took a break and made a few videos lol

this 1st one is back that ass up lol i think the name says it all oh yea and the guy in the video is my lil brother nd my friend was holdin the phone to record it



this next one i was just actin dumb tryin impersonate the guys i see on youtube "hiprollin" haha it was hella funny so i put it up


i think for now this is enough lol

Rihanna

Rihanna has changed alot since these days...


Maybe it had something to do with Chris Brown.. idk but I like how she is its like back then she was young and innocent and now she's a grown woman and it shows..

some other new videos that I like of hers..




















People hated on her super hard after she was abused by chris brown i guess they took his side and i gotta let you know im not tryna be a sidetaker in the war between her and chris but its obvious she wins i mean i grew up in a family where there was domestic violence with my parents so when i seen her beat up like that i felt bad but then again i understood her pain Nobody should be beating like that and to all the girls talkin trash sayin she deserved it (dont be tryna think back on how dumb you was when it happens to you) lol.. she so hard lol thats no lie i give her ma props!

Lil Wayne (wetter)

He killed this shit no doubt