First Love,, Does the Love ever die?

Last year I "fell in love" for the first time and gave the dude my EVERYTHING, my mind, my body, my soul, my virginity, my love and everything else and didn't get half of that back, all I got way lies, cheating and a broken heart.. I suddenly feel like cryin now that I'm writing this lol #WEIRD but I don't know why I still feel for him, he has a baby now, he's still a lame and nothing has changed like at all I still love him, I want to have sex with him and fall asleep in his arms I want him to love me and only me n give up all the groupies he got but its not in my best interest to still have feelings for this guy I mean he put me through sooooooooooooo much shit that I refuse to sit here n type it all down to you because it was 7 months of lies and deciet me falling in love and him just lying to me.. after all the bad I still just want some of the good, I'm lonely I want somebody to hold me at night, I want someone I can talk to after a stressful day someone who understands me, listens to me and can just take my mind off the bullshit, Its so hard to find that these days because all guys wanna be "players" and have 55 girls they talk to / fuck and it makes no sense why wouldn't you want someone to love you? why would you wanna keeps switching partners n have to keep getting to know people? why wouldn't you just be happy with one person you really like or love, that you've known for awhile, who makes you happy and that you want to be with? it makes no sense I'm 19 and in less than 6 months I'll be 20 and I've been single for a year now I'm tired of the single life I just wanna be loved by somebody other than friends or family.... I don't believe my ex can give me this so why do I still have feelings for him? I have no clue.. Was the love real? Idk bout him but to me it was, you ever love somebody so much you don't have to speak you can just be happy sitting next to them? that's how I felt for him. I wanna feel that way again just for somebody new who can return the feelings. Hopefully one day I'll find him so that this old stressful meaningless love goes away and dies. -Chauntill